Changes and such...

this week there have been many changes going on in the world around me, some...well mostly all, have been unexpected. i never thought some of these things would happen. i'm still trying to decide if i'm ok with these changes, i think i am for the most part, but i'm not entirely sure. most of these changes have been in relationships. some people are getting together, and some are breaking up. it doesn't really affect me in too great of a way, other than i see my friends getting hurt or becomming happier. as a whole it just doesnt make any sence at all. the people in my life are the most important thing [besides God of course], and i hate to see them get hurt, and i'm always overjoyed to see them get happier. but something about this isn't making much sense. everyone around me is happy, and content, but why am i not? not to say that i am uncontent by any means! i am the most content i've ever been, living on this amazing campus with my incredible friends, and classes that i enjoy...but my schedule is already too busy for any type of relationship other than the casual "good friends", but there is a sort of...gap i guess. i think i am mature enough to be in a relationship, but i just don't think i'm ready...does that make any sense? maybe that it's just that i haven't found the right one yet, or maybe it is that i have already found her but i dont know it yet. but i rest in the fact that God has the perfect woman picked out for me. if not then i will remain that 'single guy' that you see in all those groups of people, which i would be fine with...i think. but i've always wanted to have a family-you know, a wife and kids and a dog and a house all to ourselves...but i honestly don't know what is in store for me. it's a good thing there is One that does. life has become so confusing, and complicated lately but i know that it will all work out, even though i can't see what's in store for me in the future, i have faith that God has my plan all set out for me, and it will bring Him glory, i sure don't want any glory for myself. i'm content to let everyone else have the glory. i know i shouldnt worry about all this stuff, and i'm only 18, but still...i figured i would have everything figured out by now, and the realization that i'm not even close is sort of crashing down on me lately. i have absolutely no idea what is in store for me, and it's all exciting and nerve-racking, and scarry at the same time...it's just good that i didn't write my life the way i would have wanted to live it, because i know that wouldn't have worked out well at all....it's just good to know that from my point of view my life is sort of...unscripted =]